Thursday, July 12, 2007

Because it's true

Entry #9724 in Paul's Encounters with Oddballs and or the Strange:

I'm in the new dvd's nook of the K-Mart I hate for its weird un-time quality and rubbery, too cold, recycled for 20 years air. My back is to the service counter, to the main throughway. I'm checking out the new restored and remastered extended cut of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. In other words, pretty much the best movie ever.

Someone behind me speaks. He has a severe speech impediment, due to mental disability or brain injury, though I'm sure it was the former. Excuse me, sir, he says.

I assume he's talking to an employee. I keep looking at the dvd.

Excuse me, sir, he says again, more intently, a little annoyed. He can't be talking to me, I think. Why would anyone think I was an employee?

Then he whistles. Loud. Like he's calling a dog. I jerk back, looking at him.

Pardon me, sir, he says. Do you sell harmonicas?

8 comments:

Rachel Mallino said...

That's a poem, Paul.

Brent Goodman said...

awe comeon what was your punchline - how did you answer?

What a perfect Bill Engvall "here's your sign" joke!

At least he didn't ask if you had any raisin bread . . .

Anonymous said...

Maybe he was pitching a harmonica-selling, get-rich-quick pyramid scheme. Perhaps he wanted to recruit you to the ranks of people all over the nation who have already subscribed to his aggressive business strategy of selling harmonicas. Why are you afraid of success, Paul?

Paul said...

"Aisle 12, by women's hosiery."

Paul said...

The raisin bread!

Oliver de la Paz said...

AW!!! Brent beat me to the raisin bread comment!!

Leslie said...

Be careful. Or wherever you give readings, people will bring raisin bread and harmonicas. They'll toss them on the podium the way some girls fling panties at rock stars.
Probably you won't get much injured by the bread, but boy those harmonicas in flight can do some damage.

sam of the ten thousand things said...

Congratulations on the appearance of "Seduction With Entropy" at Verse Daily.