Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Let's forgive each other darling

Have not felt all that verbal of late but let's say this is a return. Money problems, comically mild humiliations, et cetera, will do that to you. By which I mean me.

That's life.

***

Exit Interview should be back from the printer this week so pre-orders will get mailed ahead of the official September 15th publication date.

I'm excited to see it.

Otherwise, I'm absorbed in prep work for Notes, which I love doing.

***

Last week someone I went to high school with but didn't really know all that well emailed me: he broke his neck three years ago and is now paralyzed.

He asked if I ever lost all hope, and I didn't know what to say. My answer is no. But that's no kind of answer.

I was twelve years old. A kid. What did I know of hope then to lose it? By the time I was old enough to get my head and heart around loss, my injury was some faint shadow, ever receding.

So it was a difficult email to write. I tried my best to steer clear of the ripe cheese of inspiration, of pep, but I suspect it's still in the mix.

***

At least Dylan's new album Modern Times is great. Still deep in the swampabilly sound he's been mining for a while, it's immediately winning. The Alicia Keyes namecheck in "Thunder on the Mountain" cracks me up.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Depression is a loss of hope. There are anti-depressants that can help bring hope back. Sometimes it's a decision, though. Choosing to have hope
right when one wakes in the morning is choosing to believe good things will continue to come your way, no matter what has happened.

Heather said...

You can't possibly believe that hope is that simple, can you, Anon?

Montgomery Maxton said...

Welcome back, stay awhile.

Montgomery Maxton said...

Lay Lady Lay remains my favorite is-he-a-poet Dylan song, btw.

Anonymous said...

For people who have lost all hope, sometimes they have to look at it that simply.

Heather said...

You're right in some ways. And I was cranky yesterday, looking to disagree with someone. Obviously, I am an academic, wanting to argue about the definition of hope. Sheesh.

bp said...

No offense to Anonymous, but coping with real depression is a lot f#*&ing harder than deciding to feel good when you wake up. I'm sorry to be offended/offensive on Paul's blog (and Paul obviously it's your prerogative to delete this comment if you want, no problem), but frankly that comment demonstrates an ignorance of Tom Cruise-like proportions.

Heather said...

And I just came over, at the bequest of said owner of said blog, to "fight!" I think what he had in mind was more along the lines of a catfight, that rapscallion. But it looks like I've been beaten to the punch.

Anonymous said...

For those of us who have suffered from major depression or suffered debilitating physical and emotional injuries in life, a lot can be gained by simplifying our thoughts. We have spent years "thinking" about depression: what has caused our pain, how to live with it, how to escape it, and sometimes that serious work can help us progress. Yet, there are those who never arrive at peace or answers. There are moments when the pain has dogged us for too long to work the same way towards answers. For those who have access to good medical care and do not take issue with such medications, anti-depressants can help. On the other hand, if one has found a way to believe in hope again, a decision to arise each morning and touch that hope before anything begins can be astounding.