Thursday, April 06, 2006

Stoopid

10 comments:

Laurel said...

Oh, man...

I think I'll save it for when we're next hanging out... some things you don't want to commit to text.

Annette said...

As my ex husband (who just wanted to be on his own for once in his life) and I were getting a divorce, I went to our formerly shared house to pack up some stuff. And, uh, his new girlfriend was already there helping. Pack our stuff. So much for being on one’s own.

There are many such absurd and pathetic stories with this break up. I'll just leave it at that.

MWG said...

Absurd: I go to visit my X at our old house after not having seen him for several months. Our dog has recently died (post break-up) and B has gotten a new puppy. I am excited to meet the new dog and as I pull up, am greeted by exuberant, frenzied dog love. But things go wrong quickly: within 60 seconds, the new pup runs out to the yard, grabs a cat, and promptly, emphatically, kills it. I stand there and watch the poor thing's final moments while B goes and gets a shovel. Within two minutes of seeing each other again, we're on the edge of the woods burying a cat.

Couldn't resist ....

Hi Paul. I'm Mary. This is my virtual handshake.
{{{-*-}}}

Paul said...

Oh man, Mary. Talk about trauma on top of trauma. I think you may win some kind of prize for that.

Glad to meet you, Mary!

Anonymous said...

I went to visit my girlfriend after spending a semester a continent away from her, and one of the first things she did was break up with me. The second-ish thing was to give me a ride back to my home town, which was nice, with her new boyfriend riding shotgun, which wasn't nice. On the way, we saw a turtle crossing the highway. She pulled over, and I dashed toward it. When I was about twenty feet away, a truck deliberately swerved and smashed it, and I think I made a strangled kind of howl and sprinted after the truck with my middle finger in the air. This is Chad Parmenter, by the way. Thanks; that was cathartic.

Paul said...

You may be in the lad now, Chad. That's just horrific.

Pamela said...

This isn't my story, thank goodness, but a friend of mine received a Dear Jane letter from her husband BY FAX.

If this doesn't win the smarmy award, nothing will.

Betsy said...

My story doesn’t involve animal death, but hair death. My boyfriend of going on 3 years dumped me for a girl who looked like Winona Ryder. I decided to make myself feel better by straightening my hair. I had heard that if you put perm solution on without rollers, your hair would straighten nicely. But I had dyed it the day before; when I applied the solution, my hair turned green. I tried to dye over it with brown. My hair shriveled and fell out in clumps, and what didn’t fall out turned grayish green.
Matt and I decided to be friends, and he visited a week later while, in a fit of house cleaning, I recycled old magazines. I came across a Sassy magazine and realized that Christa, the new girlfriend, was ON THE COVER. So I chucked the magazine at Matt’s head. Apparently, modesty had kept her from telling anyone that she’d made the cover of the magazine (whereas I would have taken out a billboard).

For more on Christa’s fabulousness, visit http://www.christadonner.com/about/index.html

Paul said...

Ow.

lynda said...

Well, it's not as traumatic as Betsy's SASSY model story, but for awhile I dated this guy who got into the Iowa Workshop. We pushed ahead with our dating after he left for Iowa City; things were going well.

Then, about 2 months in, he came to visit for my birthday weekend. He slept at his sister's house. Not mine. The next day, after he went back to Iowa, he called. We had a great conversation, things looked good. I bemoaned a friend's recent break-up, where her long(er) distance boyfriend broke up with her on the telephone a day after HE arrived home from a visit.

That sucks, Iowa boy said. Yeah, I agreed. The next night, Iowa boy called. And broke up with me over the telephone.