Highlights

Survived. Mostly intact. I tore a fingernail somehow. Otherwise, none the worse for wear. Well, there were two successive flights to Charlotte canceled for mysterious reasons, throwing all my travel plans into violent disarray. The people in Special Services were helpful, dying to be helpful, which is not always a good thing. When one of them suggested flying us to Laguardia, on to O'Hare, then to Atlanta, then to Chattanooga, I had to put the kibosh on the helpfulness, at least the insane degree going on. So we decided to square away everything for the next day, spend the night in Philadelphia. They were going to put us up on their dime but at hotels too far away to be useful. I mentioned the fact that there were no accessible taxis in the city. This is when Madame Dramatic descended from her airie.

"DO NOT TELLLLL MEEEEE THERE ARE NO ACCESSIBLE TAXIS. WEEEEE HAVE MADE GREAT STRIDES. GREAT STRIDES!"

She really talked like this. Imagine community theater on steroids. With lots of gesturing. Flourish. Flourish was key.

I informed her there were, in fact, no taxis I could use.

"I MYSELF HAVE LIFTED PASSENGERS INTO TAXIS. IT CAN BE DONE. I MYSELF HAVE DONE IT, SIR."

Can you lift this two-hundred fifty pound chair, too, I asked. Her face blanched a bit. Good.

"YOU MEAN THERE ARE NO TAXIS WITH LIFTS. THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW!"

I just smiled. Meanwhile, a large pack of Mummers, imagine something out of Rio's Carnivale but less restrained, ambled by, playing banjos, accordians, fiddles and God knows what else. It was like Big Bird had exploded at a Ricky Scaggs concert. I'm pretty certain they were all feral.

I asked if they couldn't put me up at the Airport Marriot. No, she said. That hotel right there, that we can both see right out the window, that's connected to the airport by a nice little walkway. Again, no. Why not?

Because they don't have an arrangement with them. Because that would make sense and be convenient for all involved.

So I just paid for the night myself, just to end the pain.

This sums up much of the travel. The rest of the time in Philadelphia was a blast. I'll leave you for now with a picture that kind of says it all.